# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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