all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
