Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
