I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
