Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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