I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
