No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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