BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
