I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
