Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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