If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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