Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
