don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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