Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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