just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
