Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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