Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
