Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
