Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
