I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
