i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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