ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
