It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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