I puked a lego.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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