It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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