Non-Jews are for practice
Please, let me fuck your mom
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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