I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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