This is not my ceiling
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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