it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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