I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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