I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize