This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
