We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
