last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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