thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
tell me about the eggs
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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