I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
