I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
