laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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