Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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