Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
