i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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