I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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