Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
