Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize