I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
