i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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