and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
