: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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