My nipple is on Facebook.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I feel like death gave me a hand job
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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