So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
