Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
