Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
