Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
