I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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