this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
