You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
