yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
