McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
