question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
