Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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